The of Fatherhood St. Joseph: Joy of Good Parentage
It is easier to talk about one’s mother. And, because society places premium on mothers and their role in the home (albeit, feminism is a different ballgame altogether), mothers are seen and are oftentimes celebrated over and above the father. In fact, many children can be heard professing undying and unconditional love for their mothers, with no affection whatsoever for their fathers. This is the society in which we find ourselves. Yet, many women will say it is a man’s world that we live in.
Many irresponsible, unavailable and nonchalant fathers abound just as there are numerous uncaring and non-affective mothers, who care less about their homes. From time immemorial, the Nigerian society has been a patriarchal society, yet women owned the home-front. Today, this still holds true. However, many women are the breadwinners of their homes; just as many are the backbones of their husbands. The economic reality of the last eight years has ensured that they must cooperate to cater to their families.
Today, many fathers have abdicated their roles and more have traded places, unintendedly intentionally, with their wives as the head of the home. And, this is not peculiar to Nigeria alone; it abounds the world over. But the little we know about the life of St. Joseph, Husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary and Foster Father of Jesus, is a great contrast to this present reality of what fatherhood has amounted to in our own time. Fathers, how did we get here?
Beginning from when his betrothal came home pregnant (when he had not known her in the ‘bedmatics’ semantics), he demonstrated that he was wise, just and compassionate; he did not want her disgraced (Mt 1: 18-25). Yet again, nine months after Angel Gabriel had told him that his wife carries the Son of the Most-High God, there was no inn for them to bring Him into the world; what they could afford to get was a mere manger, ‘ibujẹ ẹran’ in Yoruba language. He patiently went through it all.
Imagine losing your child without trace for a year long. As a Catholic, imagine your Parish Priest brings the Monstrance to your house and expose Jesus therein for a few days. Only for you to wake up the following morning (after the first night) and discover that the Monstrance with Jesus in it was missing, without proof of burglary? Can God go missing? Is it possible to lose God? “Ọmọ ẹni kú san jú ọmọ ẹni nu lọ: One’s son is dead is better than one’s son is missing.” For the Yorùbás, it would be better one’s son is dead rather than he is missing without traces of his being found.
Imagine what Joseph and our Mother Mary must have felt, knowing that Jesus is God, yet, He went missing under their watchful care? Unimaginable, right? They were in great pain and were sorrowful in heart. What will they tell God if He came looking for His Son in their house? Still, when they found the missing twelve years old God-Son, He simply told them: “And He said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” (Lk 2: 49).”
Again, Joseph demonstrated humility; he bore with the Child and took Him home with his mother. I remember my first daughter asking me “Daddy, what is the surname of Jesus?”; during the evening Mass of the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, on Tuesday, 15th August, 2023. I was dazed. And, when she started to offer suggestions for her own questions, I had to restrain myself not to shut her down. I was practically unprepared for her line of reasoning.
Children are a gift from God. They bring joy to both old and young, friend and foe, irrespective of ethnicity and creed. To their parents, children are bundles of joy. Their arrival heralds an indescribable joy known only to the discerning. This is why they are always pampered and tenderly cared for. “Joseph was the man chosen by God to guide the beginnings of the history of redemption. He was the true “miracle” by which God saves the child and his mother. God acted by trusting in Joseph’s creative courage,” Pope Francis in his Apostolic Letter “Patris Corde: With A Father’s Heart.”
His Holiness began the Apostolic Letter with these words of factual reality: “WITH A FATHER’S HEART: that is how Joseph loved Jesus, whom all four Gospels refer to as “the son of Joseph.”” With these words, Pope Francis demonstrates to us all the greater responsibility, albeit with spiritual connotation, saddled upon the father’s shoulders. “Joseph had the courage to become the legal father of Jesus, to whom he gave the name revealed by the angel,” Pope Francis stated further. Implicitly, it can be said, like in social parlance, that being a “responsible father” is not a child’s play.
Beloved Fathers, rest assured that the living God Whom we serve is the God of restoration. He will restore our lost glory in the name of His only Begotten Son of Joseph. Remember that Joseph loved our Lord Jesus Christ with a father’s heart; so should you love your families. Despite the trying times that we are in, you must be resolute in providing for your families. May St. Joseph, the Defender of the Holy Family provide, protect and sustain our families, through Christ our Lord. Amen!
Let us continually rely on St. Joseph -Head of the Holy Family, to assist, support and enable us to meet up with our responsibilities as heads of our respective families. Caring for the Son of God the Most High bequeathed a special role on Joseph; just as we have the special task of fending for our families. Through the examples of Joseph, God has given us a model, after His Own Heart to fashion our respective families. We must, therefore, constantly look up to our sure advocate and greatest example to care for our families.
Doing so is what will give us the joy which comes with being a father. St. Joseph never relented; he never faltered in his role as the Head of the Holy Family. “Each of us can discover in Joseph – the man who goes unnoticed, a daily, discreet and hidden presence – an intercessor, a support and a guide in times of trouble. Saint Joseph reminds us that those who appear hidden or in the shadows can play an incomparable role in the history of salvation. A word of recognition and of gratitude is due to them all,” (ibid.).
Happy Feast Day to all who bear the name Joseph and Josephine, especially my wife -Mrs. Omolara Josephine Onifade. God bless you all.
‘Wagbemiga Mary-Peter Ònífáde
Writer
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